I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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