I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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