:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Shame - the story of my life.
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