Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
