i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you win again, gameday.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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