Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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