he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Boobs are out for the taking
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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