i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
