why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
