Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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