it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
