If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
