I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
