and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Randomize
