3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
