Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
