i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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