I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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