we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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