I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
