Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize