how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
