We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
