he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
