At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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