Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
