we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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