my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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