we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
