so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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