i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
