I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
