Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
