OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Blood and glitter go together right?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
