Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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