And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Boobs are out for the taking
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
