How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
