God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
