new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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