I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
