Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
