I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
