My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
