I accidentally burped into my bong.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
