Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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