I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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