we're chasing vodka with high fives
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize