Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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