while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Dignity is for republicans.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
