there's paper in my vomit.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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