bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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